There are as many horror stories surrounding the dumping of a partner as there are around the dumping of a girl or boyfriend.
Like the copywriter who went on holiday, and when they got back, found someone else sitting in their chair.
Or the time I got dumped, when my art director went on a trip to the U.S., and simply never called me when he got back. Good holiday was it, Al?
I've dumped once and been the dumpee once. So I don't have a great deal of experience. But I do have a little bit. And I also asked around a few people.
So here's the collective wisdom:
1. If you want to break up with your partner, it's down to you to go and get another job. They get to stay. You don't. That's just the way it is.
2. Have the courage and decency to tell them in person. I'm pleased to be able to report that when I dumped Helen, I did tell her to her face, along with the reason why. She was shit. Sorry Helen, but that's the truth.
3. Honesty is good, but only break the news if you have a concrete offer. Don't pointlessly destabilise the team by saying you're breaking up, and then not do anything about it.
4. Find another partner before you break up with your current one. Sounds mercenary, but again, it's all about avoiding limbo and uncertainty. That's not good for either of you.
5. When things aren't going well, and you're feeling frustrated, it's a natural tendency to blame your partner. That is perfectly normal and sensible. Well you're hardly going to blame yourself, are you?! But just remember, it may not be your partner's fault. Or yours. You're probably just feeling frustrated because you work in a frustrating job. A job where you spend the whole day making wonderful creations that other people stomp on. So pour yourself another glass of whatever you can find in the fridge, and have a good old bitch to your wife/ girlfriend/ boyfriend. That's what they're there for. And only break up with your partner as a last resort.
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish