Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Leaving Update

Computer: I've gone for a Powerbook. Apparently there's no right-click... this is worrying...

Leaving-do: We've gone for the medium-sized pub which is a medium-distance away from the agency. If anyone wants to come, you're very welcome, it's this Thursday at the Windsor Castle, Campden Hill Road, near Notting Hill Gate, London. From lunchtime onwards. The agency is contributing £300 for drinks so if you get there early you can drink for free.


Friday, August 25, 2006

False Advertising

I walk past this cafe every day. The sign proudly proclaims 'Cafe Open'... but that sign is painted and non-removable. In other words, this naughty cafe is claiming to be open 24 hours a day 365 days a year, when in fact it's rather lazy and they often shut up shop at about 5pm. I can't see how I could ever bring myself to have a coffee there. Bunch of liars.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

PC or Mac?

Just got a call from the agency we're joining. Do we want to have a PC or a Mac?

I'm stumped. Obviously Mac is cooler. On the downside, I don't know how to use it. And I have a PC at home. Not sure if that would create a problem or not... anyone know?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Leaving-Do Time

So where do you hold the leaving-do? Here's the options, and what I think they mean.

THE CRAPPY OLD PUB THAT'S RIGHT ACROSS THE ROAD FROM THE AGENCY: "We're old-school."

THE TRENDY WINE BAR THAT JUST OPENED IN THE NEW SHOPPING CENTRE: "We're new-school."

THE VERY SMALL PUB UP THE ROAD: "We're worried we don't have many friends."

THE OUT-OF-THE ORDINARY OPTION LIKE HIRING A BOAT OR A CLUB OR SOMETHING: "Oh, they're so creative."

NO LEAVING-DO AT ALL: "Extremely worried about lack of friends."

JUST A LUNCH: "Maybe people will come if it's just a lunch."

Friday, August 18, 2006

Biggest Ever Product Shot Competition

Well, here's my entry. How on earth did the account team manage to sell this one? (Taken outside Paddington Station, London)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Response To Andrew

Andrew said...
Good luck to both of you. What are the things a creative wants to know about their new office by the way?
4:58 AM

1. Where is my chair
2. Coffee machine, toilet
3. My computer isn't working. what's the number for I.T.?
4. What can we put in to block out the glass wall so i can pick my nose in peace?
5.What time does everyone arrive and leave? Need to arrive 10 minutes earlier and leave 10 minutes later than the convention. Well, for the first month at least.
6. Where the hell is that guy from I.T.?
7. Where is nearest Pret A Manger
8. Nothing. Don't care at all (this contribution from my partner)
9. Where are the lined pads? And a pen?
10. OK, so let me speak to the head of I.T.

Monday, August 14, 2006

So Vain

Had my photo in Campaign last week, in connection with our move. Sadly, I looked as friendly as the average serial killer. Nevertheless, getting your photo in Campaign is a must for the ego-driven-monster types like me who work in advertising.

My pet hate is when a creative team moves and Campaign publishes a photo of... the creative directors who hired them.

<-----This is a particularly bad example from a few months ago. The guys in the pic are not poor old Chiappe and Saunby, but the TBWA CD's (now ex CD's) Brooke-Taylor and McTear.





Friday, August 11, 2006

Resignation Letter

Our creative department has a little tradition of witty resignation letters.

The CD puts them up on his wall.

No pressure.

So I turn to the web. Of course, there's a website now called i-resign.com

Nothing good there though.

<----This was Nixon's.

In the end, ours just said "Yes, we're whores."

I Resign

Yes, my partner and I are making a huge leap - from one multinational ad agency with three letters in its name to another multinational ad agency with three letters in its name.

Our creative director was kind enough to ask if there was anything he could do to make us stay, but there wasn't really. It's been 7 years. Seven happy years. But it was just time for new challenges.

So perhaps over the next few days I will be blogging about what it's like to leave somewhere and start anew...

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

You Know You're A Creative When...

1. You have no idea where everyone else in the agency sits
2. You don't know how to use the internet (except me and Copyranter. where the hell is everyone else?)
3. You have no idea how to book a taxi. Or a bike. In fact you are paralysed without a TV producer to plan your every movement and gesture
4. You constantly have to listen to people who have never had an idea in their lives criticise your ideas
5. The account handler asks you to change your script so the client will like it more, the planner asks you to change your script so consumers will like it more, the creative director asks you to change your script so awards juries will like it more. And the client asks you to change your script so it has a longer product sequence at the end. And in the middle. And the beginning. Actually, can we just have the product all the way through. Big. Put a spotlight on it. Some highlights. In fact, why don't we just make it dance? What do you mean yoghurts can't dance?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Dr Oetker You Are A Fraud, Sir!

This is a frozen pizza from the Dr Oetker 'Bistro' range.

The TV ad, which I've put a link to here, concerns a couple who wave away a beret-clad accordion player from their table, on the grounds that their frozen pizza is already French enough.

It includes lines such as "served on a typical French baguette", "so very French", and "Bistro is French enough for me".

Guess what? A super then comes up which says "Made in Germany."

I would have simply sent the brief back.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

It's Bad Ad Time Again

An ad is supposed to persuade. Get you nodding along in agreement. With insights that chime, because they're true.

There's not much point constructing an argument out of things that aren't true and which nobody agrees with.

"So much for British generosity." What? Whoever said the British were generous? There are a lot of things commonly said about the British. I've never heard 'generous'.

"They've given us a sport nobody understands." You mean the most popular sport in India, right?

"Trains that don't run." Of course! The famous Indian trains that don't run. Not the ones I've seen running - indeed packed - in tons of films and TV programmes.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Nice Bus

Here's a fun bus-side I saw in San Francisco.

Incidentally, the bus is actually two buses joined by a bendy bit in the middle - which makes it even more appropriate.